UseWhatUHave

What do I feel after 40 days of no shopping? I feel a little freer. I started off wondering how I was ever going to make it through a week little lone a month, 90 days or a year!?!?!

I have been keeping track of beauty products I use up which for some reason really makes me feel good. I like knowing I’m using the things I have -yes duh the title of the blog- but I didn’t think I would get that much satisfaction from it.

On the clothing front I found myself thinking I needed new pieces for a conference I have coming up in March and thought this would be an excused reason to buy something new. When I started looking on line for something new I realized I had similar items that would work and that I don’t really need anything new.

I love not worrying about the balance in my bank account and trying to figure out if I have enough funds to make it to the next pay check, when I’m standing at the checkout counter with a pile of clothes “I needed”. When I sent my last payments on my credit cards from my panic buys before I started on this journey, I blessed them, thanked them and was happy. I don’t have the guilt when I walk in my closet. I haven’t had one spell of “omg I need to stop this shit. I just need to declutter this closet.” Instead, I think “Hmm what outfit can I make today”. Logging my OOTD is one thing I would like to start to do.

In these 40 days I haven’t quit looking at Poshmark, Mercari, Ulta and other beauty websites. I still watch Style Encore Lives but I haven’t purchased anything and honestly I’m getting a little bored watching them.

Have I had any slip-ups? Yes and no. I did purchase Vitamin C serum, collagen, and Egyptian Magic cream from Costco-all needs. Here is the grey area….I added to my cart a bag with 3 lip oils and 3 liquid eyeshadows but because of Costco’s promo it didn’t cost me any more money than the things I needed. So not perfect but I’m not beating myself up either.

My perspective on life has changed dramatically since 2022 and so far I’m here for it.

After a not-so-great 2022 and feeling quite stressed, I’ve headed in to 2023 with a renewed outlook and doing things that are bringing me closer to my true spirit.

I chose Action as my word for 2023. I can talk a lot about not shopping, starting again, traveling, baking new recipes but it is only through Action that these things can happen. Sounds simple, right?!? Well not so much for me, I can talk the talk but this year I need to walk the walk. I may be crawling but at least I’m moving forward.

Today marks the first 30 days without shopping!! This is huge as before I would be lucky to make it 48 hours before I found an excuse for buying something I didn’t need.

I’m not going to extensively write about it or hurt my arm by patting myself on the back but I am taking time today to acknowledge and be happy I made it longer than I ever have.

Day16

I had a bag of clothes ready to go to the Goodwill and then thought – hold up I may need this, after all I’m not shopping and what if I run out of something to wear. Now seriously, there is no way in hell that I will run out of something to wear in the next year.

I did stop and realize that this is all due to feelings of lack-not having enough. Not have the right thing to wear. My house is full of things, I do not lack physically but mentally (is it emotionally? that is what I’m here to try and figure out) I feel lack. And. I. don’t. know. why..

Well first blush it would be my lack of self-assuredness. I compare myself too much to others. What is that saying? Comparison is the thief of joy. Or something like that. How true that is. Also the thief of time, money and self-love.

I’m feeling panicked! What if I don’t have a striped shirt? And there’s crochet -it’s on trend and I have none….What if I don’t have the perfect summer skirt? Oh look at all those cute things people are trying on and blogging about. I think all my stuff is ugly, out-of-date and I probably NEED something new and more stylish so that I’m okay.

I’m taking 5 deep breaths. I’m okay. I have plenty to wear. Clothes don’t make you a better person. Breathe…..

And this is day four?!?! 361 to go….

Monday, May 16, 2022

It’s Day One of the No-Buy Year. I’m nervous, I’m in Springfield, MO for work and I have ALWAYS shopped when I’m here. Usually making the rounds to Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Ulta, &/or Target.

I made one last purchase of makeup that I don’t need, from Amazon last night at 10:55pm.

Although, this is odd I am getting some work done and will work out shortly so that is a positive.

As I suspected setting rules for my No-Buy Year is essential. I have been watching and reading up on some No-Buy Years and one thing that is a common theme is to have a set of rules that you will follow. Something that is meaningful but not so hard that you can’t keep up the No-Buy year.

RULES:

1. No Buying of any Clothing or Accessory Item
2. No Buying of any Makeup Item
3. No Buying Skincare unless I run out of something essential to my routine. If it is a random serum no repurchasing.
4. No Buying of any Body or Hair care. Again unless I’m out of soap or shampoo.
5. May buy gifts
6. If I receive a gift card-save for essentials or use after no-buy year.
7. No Books
8. May buy some house decorating items
9. Can shop at the MOQ garage sale
10. No thrifting for clothes, accessories, books.
11. Can buy things my kids need.
12. Start Day: Monday, May 16, 2022-Monday, May 15, 2023

*I had made a commitment to buy a couple of pieces from Cabi on the 1/2 price sale. If I still need to I will honor that commitment. Feel like there is another one but can’t remember so I will add if I think of it.

I swear I’m shopping more than ever. Justification is rampant. I’m tired of beating myself up and either I fix it myself or I need to seek professional help.

I am going to try again to do a no buy/low buy. Like when I quit smoking I need to pick a date and stick with it. As you can see a year ago I tried the no buy year and although it didn’t stick, I did make a dent in my shopping habits, but with all habits if you don’t keep practicing they will fall off.

I thought about starting a YouTube or something else where I show up daily but in accordance with using what u have I will be using this platform.

I’m looking at the calendar. One month from today is Sunday, May 22, looks like a perfect day to start.

So in upcoming posts I want to write out my “Why” -all the sites say to establish this “Why”. Honestly right now my “why” is because I am disgusting myself with this unnecessary shopping.

Also the triggers or justifications-get them out write them down and figure out how to head them off. The shit that goes on in my head is tiresome and I’m truly sick of living on this merry-go-round of shopping and beating myself up. I want to stop. Like any good addict I get caught up in the moment and then the shame….the pure pure shame eats me up.

I hope I can do this. I don’t know if I can but I want to be strong I want to do this on my own. I think I should be able to but I feel like I’m going to feel like I’m floating in unknown, unsupported territory.

Daily accountability and journaling the pain, the withdraw, the humiliation, the shame and the justifications that swirl in my head is what I’m hoping that will help. It is worth a shot.

So I have 30 days before my NS year, I’ll refer to these days as BNS (before No-shopping). Set guidelines, alternate activities and a budget sheet (that one really scares me).

Deep breath…..

It used to be so exciting…. the start of a school year. New notebooks, crayons, pencils, pens, etc. However, this year has been quite bittersweet as we sent our youngest off to college and although I am so proud of the man he is becoming, I miss him and all his siblings terribly. I am having a much harder time adjusting to the quiet and emptiness than I had anticipated.

Feelings of anxiousness, sadness, and confusion have got me feeling like I need a project. Should I throw out everything in the house and completely remodel the house? Should I go on another new crazy diet? Should I work on my bread-making skills? How about taking up sewing again. So many things swirling and all feeling quite urgent, I believe swelling up from those anxious feelings, lost feelings of not knowing my purpose any longer. I could go on and may later but this empty-nesting is more than I bargained for.

To update you on the no-shopping, I have done really well. I have not shopped retail since July 3, 2021. There was a special dispensation for the MOQ garage sale, where I bought fewer things than normal. And this weekend I went to Goodwill and purchased two purses, a blazer, a casual skirt, and a leather skirt. I don’t feel guilty about it which is unusual and maybe a sign.

Have also been purging my closet and am letting go of the notion that I need to keep something because it still has the tags on it. If it isn’t my style, comfortable or flattering it is gone.

Am really feeling that this is a point in my life where I need to take things a day at a time and practice more gratitude. The list-making side of me is screaming make a chart, take some pictures, check something off and so maybe to occupy that nervousness I will work on developing such a checklist, it will be my own “grading system”.

I am using this blog for accountability and so I must say I already have fallen off the wagon. I was seduced by a “sale”. I won’t go into details, I’m not quite ready to share because I feel guilty and defeated.

However, I am going to reframe as a learning exercise. What I have already learned is that once I fell off I started perusing Costco.com, Universal Standard, Tarte.com, etc. and the mental justification started of why it would be okay to buy more. Same thing happens when I try to eat healthy and I have a slice of pizza…out come the chips, couple glasses of wine and a “it’s Friday, I deserve it” attitude.

Observation without judgement is how I want to approach this. Guilt is not doing me a bit of good-never has. Guilt is the thief of joy.

Assignment: define my WHY. Why do I want to not shop?

I’m in the starting blocks again today. I think of the saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. I felt that way years ago when I was trying to establish a consistent work out routine, when I was trying to quit smoking and countless other things.

June 1, 2021, I’m starting a “365 No Buy”. No shopping for one full year. Like I said, I’ve tried before…….. This time I’m telling people, committing to the world and myself that this is something I want to do.

I will chronicle my journey, and how I use what I have to overcome the desire and addiction I have to shopping. I have ideas for what I want to try, I have a feeling this journey will unfold as it happens.