It used to be so exciting…. the start of a school year. New notebooks, crayons, pencils, pens, etc. However, this year has been quite bittersweet as we sent our youngest off to college and although I am so proud of the man he is becoming, I miss him and all his siblings terribly. I am having a much harder time adjusting to the quiet and emptiness than I had anticipated.
Feelings of anxiousness, sadness, and confusion have got me feeling like I need a project. Should I throw out everything in the house and completely remodel the house? Should I go on another new crazy diet? Should I work on my bread-making skills? How about taking up sewing again. So many things swirling and all feeling quite urgent, I believe swelling up from those anxious feelings, lost feelings of not knowing my purpose any longer. I could go on and may later but this empty-nesting is more than I bargained for.
To update you on the no-shopping, I have done really well. I have not shopped retail since July 3, 2021. There was a special dispensation for the MOQ garage sale, where I bought fewer things than normal. And this weekend I went to Goodwill and purchased two purses, a blazer, a casual skirt, and a leather skirt. I don’t feel guilty about it which is unusual and maybe a sign.
Have also been purging my closet and am letting go of the notion that I need to keep something because it still has the tags on it. If it isn’t my style, comfortable or flattering it is gone.
Am really feeling that this is a point in my life where I need to take things a day at a time and practice more gratitude. The list-making side of me is screaming make a chart, take some pictures, check something off and so maybe to occupy that nervousness I will work on developing such a checklist, it will be my own “grading system”.